I’m in quite the pensive mood these days…thinking about all the vicissitudes of my life…what to reveal…what to write about.
“It occurred to me today that I’m not as far along as I thought. Writing my story isn’t the courageous act of liberation I had hoped it would be. Writing is solitary, furtive, and I know all about those things. I’m an expert in the underground life… Still, you can only do what you’re able. If this story is written only for myself, then so be it. But it doesn’t feel that way. I feel you out there, reader. This is the only kind of intimacy I’m comfortable with. Just the two of us, here in the dark.” Middlesex, p. 319.
Pensive
Yeah definitely. For sure. In a certain way, me too, I’m an expert in the underground life. And even writing a blog is a solitary and furtive pursuit! I am in meditation mode what with this enforced pause from my normal everyday life. I’m sort of isolated. Some friends come to visit me, and I hang out with others but only in my neighborhood. I am so grateful for their company! I am e-mailing and messaging mega big-time and I am so grateful to be able to communicate with friends who are far away! I play lots of Bach. I feel like a hothouse flower here holed up in my apartment. I’m sometimes sad with isolation as I lie down icing my knee; other times I do remember to smile and I’m happy and content with my routine of rehab, practicing, reading and writing.
Monsieur came over the other day and we seriously and soberly talked. Our talk made me wonder if I could ever share, on this blog or wherever, some of what we were talking about. That would be amazing and liberating…and maybe helpful for others. Someday maybe I will be able to…after my training…when I am teaching…
Nonetheless…big step for me: I did make it down to chez Thomas Vasiliades for what I think of as a real lesson, and it was my first time being there since the beginning of October. It was so great to see the place again! It felt like my regular life was slowly coming back to me even though it will take me months to recuperate. We did chair, table, chair. No activity at this one, my leg being oh so sore. He told me that my left leg muscles were still much weaker than my right ones. Sigh…much more work to do. More serious talking… I am always wondering how the mind/brain can change so drastically when one receives hands on work to the body. I am so interested in the neurological ramifications of this. This lesson was capital: many of my concerns about continuing my training evaporated with this lesson. It is totally clear to me now that I should continue to train after this hiatus.
À propos of some of our discussion, he later sent me this quote from Charles Sherrington, the father of modern neuroscience: “Mr. Alexander has done a service to the subject (of the study of reflex and voluntary movement) by insistently treating each act as involving the whole integrated individual, the whole psychophysical man. To take a step is an affair, not of this or that limb solely, but of the total neuromuscular activity of the moment, not least of the head and neck.” Sir Charles Sherrington 1857-1952, Neurophysiologist, Nobel Prize for Medicine 1932.
Tom also suggested that I watch this YouTube of Nikolaas Tinbergen’s Nobel Prize lecture. Dear reader, while I am researching out Sherrington, please check out this YouTube!
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